Glimpse

glimpse (/glimps/)
v. To see or perceive briefly or partially.
     Ex. He glimpsed at the television.
n. A momentary or partial view.
     Ex. She caught a glimpse of the ocean.

Maybe it's just me, but there's something about the word "glimpse" that really bugs me.
Maybe it's the way it's spelled, or the way it sounds, or the way it's used. Whatever it is, I just don't like this word.

Glimpse. Glimpse, glimpse, glimpse, glimpse, glimpse. Say it enough times, and it starts to disintegrate. No longer is it a word with meaning: it melts into just a primitive sound. Glimpse, glimpse, glimpse. Think about it! Actually, don't just think, say it. Read it with me: glimpse, glimpse, glimpse, glimpse, glimpse.

Keep saying it. Doesn't it just feel weird? It may roll of the tongue, but it still tastes terrible. Now let's use it in a sentence.

Johnny glimpsed at the door.
Johnny glimpsed at the door.
Johnny glimpsed at the door.
Johnny glimpsed at the door.
Johnny glimpsed at the door.

No, Johnny didn't glimpse at anything! Glimpse has no meaning anymore! He glanced at it! He peeked at it! But he sure as hell didn't glimpse at it! It's such an ugly word with such a strange sound to it, and Johnny's ugly for using it. And when I say "ugly word", I mean ugly word.

GLIMPSE

Look at it. Look at that train wreck. It's like a string of letters that found each other by accident after the Scrabble Letter Factory exploded. You've got a 5:2 consonant-to-vowel ratio, and that's just insanity! And that kind of insanity is contagious, gol' dangit. The longer you stare at it, the more messed up it gets. You just wanna grab the word by the short hairs and scream, "Stop it, Glimpse! Stop it!" But he won't stop it, he's just going to keep on being the ugly little word that he is. Why? Because glimpse's a douche, that's why.

Glimpse is the word that the other words don't invite to parties. I bet that if glimpse was a person, he would wear shirts with a picture of himself on it. He wouldn't ever comb his hair, either. Glimpse is the tattoo that the dictionary regrets getting. And not just an armband tattoo, oh, no. Even worse than a tramp stamp. I'm talking about a full-body tattoo, an entire mural of glimpstitude scarred on the dictionary's chest. And it can never go away. Never.